I understand the perception of wifey as competition, which is why I wrote this essay. I wanted to communicate that situations like your friends’ — reconciliations and occasional slips — are not automatic for separated folk.

Some of us are well and truly done with our departed spouses!

Good luck on your nascent separation. Here in NC, spouses must be separated for at least one year before either can file for divorce. Is that the case where you live? Or will you be able to proceed with divorce sooner?