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My Sister Is 38 and Always in Agony
On watching a loved one live with chronic pain
To load her dishwasher, my sister sets up a TV tray beside the kitchen sink. She rolls up a footstool beside it. One by one, she rinses the plates and pots and my niece’s My Little Pony tumblers and sets them on the tray.
When the tray is full, she sits on the stool to transfer everything to the dishwasher, repeating the process until the dishwasher is full.
This can take a few minutes, or it can take nearly an hour. Depends how her back feels. And her legs. Her pelvis. Her rear end. Sitting is the worst due to coccydynia (literally, a pain in the ass).
She also sometimes loses feeling in her extremities. If she and her husband are, say, lying in bed and he puts his head on her shoulder, her arm may go numb.
Once, she cut her pinkie toe on some broken glass and didn’t realize it until she looked down and was standing in blood.
When the dishes are clean, she will reverse the process, dishwasher to tray to cabinets — but not today. Tomorrow, maybe, if she sleeps just right.
And the low pressure weather system stays away.
And no one bumps her at breakfast.
