Top Ten Signs That You Accidentally Married into a Family of Elves
(10) Your wife needs a separate closet for all the shoes she has made. From red velvet.
(9) At your wedding reception, your wife’s cousins did shots of maple syrup.
(8) There is a hot chocolate bar in your basement.
(7) Your father-in-law is a fourteenth generation Nabisco retiree.
(6) The little baggies you found in your stepson’s backpack are streusel topping.
(5) Your wife’s calendar notes, “Christmas season begins!” On January 1.
(4) In her younger years, your mother-in-law was a Sleighmate of the Month.
(3) Your in-laws think Orlando Bloom’s accent in Lord of the Rings was terrible.
(2) You invite your wife’s boss for dinner, and he takes the leftover carrots for his “dogs.”
(1) After a “girls night out,” your wife comes home reeking of cinnamon and nutmeg.
(Written with Mariah “Dimples” Warren)
